I write this a few weeks into the new year and many people will have made plans to improve themselves in some way or another. Of course by this point some may have given up on these changes. Others are finding these changes a challenge but still persisting.

I too have have made plans to change some of the ways in which I run my practice. This has mostly been a matter of trial and error and figuring out what works best for me and my clients.

But do you really have to decide to become a completely new - better! - version of yourself simply because this is what is expected of you? What happens if you are one of those people who set themselves goals, or make plans to live your ideal life and find yourself failing short of your dreams? It’s not unreasonable to feel like you can never change, that no matter what you will never reach your goals. You could not ever hope to be the better version of yourself. To give yourself the label ‘failure’.

Sometimes this happens because we set goals that we think we should want to achieve, or that we think will make us happier and give us the key to our perfect life.

But what if these are goals that actually don’t match with who we really are inside? What if we fear achieving these goals? Will we still be liked by our friends and loved ones? Will we like ourselves?

Change is possible, but it does carry risks and change for changes sake might not be right for you. That’s okay, maybe you don’t have to be a new person entirely. Perhaps you would be better deciding what it is about yourself that you want to change and then working out why that change is the one you want to pursue.

Change for the right reasons - your reasons, no matter what they are - is a better option than just trying to make changes that aren’t really for you. This is where you might find that a few sessions with a counsellor or therapist could really help you change for your own reasons, set suitable and achievable goals that work for you and becoming true to yourself.